One Saturday every year I wake up, hungover, and am expected to go somewhere and watch horses, gamble, and day drink. Then there's the Kentucky Derby. In case you aren't particularly knowledgable about the whole shindig — or are terrified at the thought of horses, like me — it won't hurt to brush up on some relevant information about the Derby, Kentucky, and horse racing in general. Worst case scenario, you'll sound like you know something, best case you win £1.45M on a £2 bet. Though I'm not sure what you'd do with all those weird L's.
Here are 10 things you need to know if you want to sound like a well-informed horse snob at the Kentucky Derby Party you're going to:
10) There are two types of horses: turf/synthetic and dirt. Turf horses don't run well on dirt unless it's perfect. Today it's a wet dirt track. Likewise, dirt horses aren't as explosive as turf horses on turf/synthetic surfaces.What you'll say: "We'll see how Charming Kitten does on the dirt, considering all that success he's had came on turf."
9) "Scratched" means the horse isn't racing.What you'll say: "…and then I hear Black Onyx was scratched at the number one post! And, no, not like that. Do you want me to explain what that means? Ok… (insert beging of paragraph)"
8) Following up on the last tidbit, a "Post" is the lane the horse runs in. Simple enough. Unlike track and field, all spots are not equal, as they are not staggered to make up for the increased distance horses have to travel from the outer ring of the track. Given that Black Onyx was scratched at the inside post, they will leave it open. What you'll say: "What do you mean why is that gate empty? I just said Onyx was scratched…they don't just fill in the post with a Border Collie you moron!"
7) The favorite wins 36% of the time. This year's favorite is Revolutionary.What you'll say: "The way I see it, with 5/1 odds on Revolutionary I'd but at least some money on him."
6) Kitten's Joy sires the best race horses. At least for turf. After Fear the Kitten was scratched, he still has one horse still in the race (that we know of, this guy gets around.)What you'll say: "Believe it or not, Charming Kitten and Fear the Kitten are related to the world's best sire horse, Kitten's Joy, whose offspring have won nearly ever race on the face of the Earth. Including the Olympics! I'm kidding of course, those races are for humans…"
5) A "Mint Julep" is basically Burbon and sugar and mint. Maybe some lime. Definitely a headache.What you'll say: "No thank you, I'm fine, I have to work Monday."
4) The owners make 60% of the total purse, and the purse is around $2M. So, a lot of money. What you'll say: "Hey, buying a live foal from Kittens Joy only cost $50,000. Who's in?"
3) There is an age requirement, much like the NBA or cigarettes. All horses must be 3 years old, however, all of there birthdays are considered January 1st of the year they were born. This can make a difference, because younger horses are, obviously, better. Also, they're more likely to crash their Dad's Lexus.What you'll say: "Apparently they're all three-year-olds. When I was three, I was nearly that handsome."
2) The last three years have produced longshot winners, with payouts like $43 for every $1 bet. That's freakin' awesome. If you're going to go with this trend, be prepared to drive a diamond car and date Rihanna.What you'll say: "Come on Itsmyluckyday (15-1)! Daddy needs a new pair of attractive female/male secretaries depending on my gender/orientation!"
1) The jockey's are very important. Calvin Borel, who has won 3 previous Derbys, is riding current favorite Revolutionary. John Velazquez, on Verrazano, is undefeated at the race and has 9-2 odds. Gary Stevens is the veteran who's won 3 Derby's as well — he'll be on 23-1 Oxbow. (That's my pick.)What you'll say: "I never trust horses. To large. To strong. To loveable to have a brain the size walnut. I choose horses. I CHOOSE HORSES!"
Bomani Jones we'll build you up, and we'll chop you down. what's interesting for me is just how it happens in each case.
Bomani Jones i think this year will be the end of the innocence for both rose and durant, the two guys who got alllll the love when hating bron was hip.
Bomani Jones #coldworld RT @sportsJC16: Remember 2 yrs ago when the so called basketball "experts" said DRose was "all heart" & Lebron has none?
Bomani Jones possibly the most shameless song of all-time RT @GeorgeFoster72: "I'll pay fo' it"(remix)- Soulja Slim feat. Mister Cee
Grant Wahl Big 15 minutes ahead for Clint Dempsey and Spurs—can't afford to drop 2 points at home vs Southampton. Still 0-0 on ESPN2.
More Info: - French Ligue 1
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